The Development of Communications Skills

Communication is nothing more than getting people to understand what’s on your mind or understanding exactly what they are thinking. The successful communicator is also able to get people to follow because they understand how to motivate people to do what they want. Communication skills begin to develop in childhood as soon as the baby understands that he or she is a person also and that they need to find a way to let people know exactly what’s on their mind.

The extrovert is normally a better communicator than the introvert because the extrovert is practiced in exerting power over his or her environment whereas the introvert is a reflective type of person. The introvert also interacts with the outside reality but they react by appreciating it rather than attempting to control it. The child who will be an extrovert learns early on how to manipulate the people around him or her, but the introverted child may just be content observing the environment.

The more that the child gets practice in exerting their communication skills the better they become. Communication is a constant growing process and the extrovert is constantly applying what they have learned to different situations. As the extrovert grows older he or she hones their communication skills to a fine point.

Manipulative people will normally talk constantly in order to convince others to go along with their plans. They live for the feeling of power that they get from exerting their influence over others. I have even seen those who delight to induce fear in others and seem to enjoy the look of fear on others if they can elicit it. I have also noticed that when those same people fail to get the fear response from others they don’t seem to know what to do next. The best way to deal with this type person is simply not to allow them to intimidate you. You don’t have to argue with them just don’t allow them to elicit a reaction of fear from you.

External personality traits are those that are visible from outside and internal traits are those that are not visible externally. Traits like your dressing sense, the way you carry yourself, the way you walk and talk, your etiquettes, etc are all part of your external personality. On the other hand, traits like honesty, integrity, compassion, sincerity, level of intellect, etc are traits that are difficult to judge externally. Here, we talk about personality development from the perspective of communication skills i.e. an external personality trait.

Speech is our primary means of communication but our interactions are guided more by nonverbal cues which we receive from others. The gangster or robber knows just how far to push their victims by the reactions that they get. As a matter of fact they can identify a person as a potential victim by observing their demeanor and attitude. They know an easy mark when they see one. One thing that I learned growing up was that when I went to a strange part of my city or an area where I didn’t know the people was to never show fear. At the same time I knew not to act cocky at all because both of these are indicators of being uncertain and fearful.

I was able to avoid serious trouble many times by nonverbal communication. The good communicator is alert to all the cues coming from the person that he is communicating with. The best communicators will respond to these cues immediately to win the support or get the understanding of the person who they are communicating with.<a href=http://cedricrice-A.webcopycat.com> The Good Life</a>

I Liked the Old School Best

We definitely live in a different day and time. The new mentality, even the new corporate mentality seems to be self preservation at all costs. It seems to me that there is no such thing as customer’s rights anymore. Business is designed to make all of the money it can possibly make regardless of the satisfaction of the customer. It used to be that when you purchased an item you purchased it on your own conditions. That just doesn’t seem to be the case these days.

Whenever I schedule appointments it has to be on a work day during working hours which causes me to have to make special arrangements to be seen. If I have a dental problem on Friday and the Dentist has decided that he doesn’t work on Fridays then my teeth will just have to hurt until Monday. I have actually attempted to schedule emergency surgery and been told that I would have to wait two weeks to be seen.

We just live in a time when everything moves very rapidly. Relationships seem to have suffered as a result. When I grew up I had the same small circle of friends for many years. We knew and loved each other intimately. We are still friends to this present day and I know that if I need help I can still call on them. We literally grew up together and I trusted them.

It seems people literally do not care these days. People don’t seem to appreciate help when you give it to them. I am in a customer service business where I have the ability to give huge discounts. I have dealt with people on many occasions where they didn’t have the money to purchase what they needed. Most of them don’t seem to respect the fact that I bent the rules just to help them out at all. This mentality is totally different than that of the last generation.

I had one customer who complained that I charged him ten dollars more than the estimated total after he had received the service. This was after I saved him hundreds of dollars on the original deal. I have to chalk it up to the new mentality created by the industrial age. We as a society have become impersonal because more of our interpersonal interaction is about some type of business. We have TV, radio, the internet and many other vehicles to entertain us. It seems that these things take the place of interpersonal communication. It seems as a result that we don’t know how to connect in personal communication.

The images that we see portrayed in the media do a lot to shape our perceptions also. I don’t remember seeing sex or hearing profanity much at all as a child watching TV. When I turned on the radio the music was clean and harmonious. Music was designed to please rather than to shock. The same is true of TV. Modern programs seem to attempt to assault the senses with immorality and violence. There is no possible way that the generation who watches it isn’t affected by these negative images.

Modern media displays romantic relationships as self gratification seeking adventures. They stress using the bodies of others to satisfy your own physical needs rather than establishing a true relationship. Unfortunately I can see this mentality taking hold on our society. Younger children are dressing in more provocative, revealing ways. My biggest concern is that the parents are dressing them this way. Our city schools have resorted to requiring students to wear uniforms as the result.

How do we fix our circumstances? I don’t know but changing the way that the media presents life to our children would certainly be a good start.<a href=http://cedricrice-A.webcopycat.com> The Good Life</a>

You are what You Say

You are What you Say Have you ever heard the bible verse that says that whatever a man thinks in his heart defines who he is? The same is true of the words which come out of your mouth. They give an accurate picture of just what’s inside of your spirit man because they are the essence of your spirit. If you want to know exactly what you are made up of just listen to the words that you are speaking to others. You may mask your feelings but you can never truly hide them because they come out of your mouth in the form of words. The words are similar to perfume. They carry the molecules of your real thoughts and feelings for other people to sample. You never know what’s in a bottle of perfume until you open it up. Once the aroma hits the atmosphere there is no way to hide it whether it is a good or bad aroma. Have you ever been in a place where everyone may have been having a good time when one person came in and caused the atmosphere of the room to change by the words that they spoke into the atmosphere. The spirit of their words took control of the minds of the rest of the people and caused their spirits to change. By the same token you may have been in a situation which was not good and someone with a positive attitude came in and lifted the spirits of everyone else. I have noticed that the most successful football coaches seem to be the ones who can inspire their teams and whip them into a frenzy by their words. The words that they speak don’t really matter as much as the attitude that they carry over to the team. The team picks up on their enthusiasm and catches fire. I once asked a Colonel in the 82nd Airborne what was the primary trait that he looked for in leaders and his reply pretty much summed up the deal. He looked for overwhelming enthusiasm. People can sense when you are insincere if they listen to the spirit of your words more so than the actual tone of communication. You can even detect when a polished liar is not being honest because the spirit of his words will be wrong. The polished liar knows on some level that there is a certain convincing spirit which must accompany his lies. An honest person simply tells the truth. When a liar lies he or she tries to sound overly convincing. So if the tone is too smooth you can generally pick it up. The same is true of a parent who constantly yells at his or her children. The children generally don’t obey because they don’t pay attention to the tone of the parent’s voice. They know by the spirit of that parent that they won’t enforce discipline. It is not necessary to yell to try to get a point across. It is necessary to mean what you say. People know when all kidding has been put aside by the tone of a serious voice, but a serious voice must come from a serious spirit. Your voice exudes either self confidence or self doubt. People will know just by the spiritual force which your voice carries. Spiritual force is not necessarily sound or volume. Allow the emotion which you want to convey rule in your mind before you speak. Feel it then speak it. Riceland Enterprises

Keys to a Successful Relationship

There is an infinite number of things that I can give you right here and ninety percent of them would be right but if I were to pick the most important one I would pick communication. Now when you read this article don’t think that I personally have it all together and I am sitting high on my tower directing traffic directly below. I have communications issues just like the next man or woman but I am aware what many of them are and I am working on them.

The best way to communicate with another person is to get inside of their mind while they are talking to you. Try to feel exactly what they are feeling and see things the same way that they are seeing them. The average person just doesn’t know how to do this. Listening is an interaction which is actually very dynamic. When you have developed the ability to listen you will understand very quickly whatever it is that people are attempting to tell you. Most people are not very good communicators and don’t know how to get directly to the point in a clear and concise manner. When we encounter a situation such as this we have to be able to help them.

One thing which used to be a major problem for me is that I used to dwell on differences. No person in the world is going to be what you want or expect them to be so don’t attempt to make people fit into the mold that you have created in your mind because it will never work. Learn to appreciate the differences in others rather than to look down on them because they are different. We don’t all need to be the same. Look at the differences in others as exciting new territory for you to learn to understand. Look forward to learning more about their differences. Look for ways to work around that habit and enjoy the person instead. If they truth were to be told we all have something about us which is aggravating or annoying to others so remember this the next time you feel like you want to be critical of another persons character traits.

If you are married remember this before you begin to gaze at the grass on the other side of the fence. That other person which you admire so much has problems also. The grass may look greener but it has aphids just as the grass on this side does.

Don’t avoid telling people the truth when it is warranted. Sometimes you may have to keep the truth to yourself in order to maintain peace but never lie. People look at your word as a part of you and it is. If people can’t trust the words you say they will not have respect for anything that you say. They may love you but they won’t have respect for your words.

I have learned that there are so many ways of communicating with my spouse other than just talking. Talking is preferred but you should combine talking with other techniques. I believe that the reason that women love presents so much is because they communicate on a more intimate level than men. Women love gifts simply because they say, I was thinking of you.”  This is actually just another form of communicating a thought. We should actively look for other ways to communicate which are unique and fun. This is the essence of a successful relationship. <a href=http://cedricrice-A.webcopycat.com> Riceland Enterprises</a>